Woop dare it is!

What up blog! I'm b(l)ack, after a long vacation. When was the last time I posted in this thing? Like...winter break-ish? Jeez. THat's a while ago. See the thing is, I don't really write in my blog unless there is something, usually bad, pressing on my mind. And life has been...well...good, lately, so there hasn't really been a need to write.

UNTIL NOW.

Just kidding, life is still awesome right now. But I do have some things that I wanna flesh out in my brain-mush, so I'll do it.

But before I do, I just want you all to know that I almost changed my blog design and layout before I wrote this entry. ALMOST being the key word. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I've grown too attached to this weird white-Nickelodeon-themed abortion of a color scheme I've got going on right now. So I kept it.

Also, I actually went back to some of my older entries and read over them. For a few strange reasons actually. One, to see the kind of repartee I have built up between myself and my readers. Which...yeah, is a strange one. I just reread the sentence from a blog entry or so about where I shared the thing about how I feel when I pee. So...there's that awesome little tidbit. (haha, actually, that whole entry is pretty awesome if I do say so myself. AND I DO. It's the one that starts "I've had more sexually satisfying pisses") Speaking of that line,(AKGJKJGKIJ NOOO. SUPER ADD ATTACK AND I CAN'T STOP IT) I'm going to write another blog entry after this one with another line of mine that I want to write in some sort of movie or tv. More on that later. ANYWAY, the second reason why I went back and reread my old entries was because sometimes I forget my own writing style. Which doesn't make any sense because my writing style you'd THINK would come naturally to me, being my writing style and all. But no, sometimes I need a refresher. Like a nice, refreshing Brisk Iced Tea (Insert Jayme Here now brought to you by Brisk Iced Tea. Mmm, that's Brisk, baby!).

So, aside from my writing style and general life peculiarities, something I'd like to discuss in this entry is my imminent move to...move to...? That's just it, I can officially come out and say that I don't know where I want to move again. Yes, I'm back here. Back to waffling in between Chicagos-town and Los Angeles-ville. They both offer such great and different things. But I have just spent the last 2 months telling people that I have "definitely 100% decided on Chicago", so I'd hate to make a liar out of myself (HA. Like I don't do that every day of my life forever). But what I want to discuss is not the Where of my move, but rather the Why. The What and Who are far too easy and the How is just stupid.

So...why? Why move to a faraway place that is not Washington DC and force myself into an entirely new house/culture/collection of friends? Why basically reboot my acting career in a foreign land when I could just stay here and use what connections I have to build up a robust and potentially still end up where I want to end up in life? Well I'm feeling pretty doubtful now after all those biased rhetorical questions so I suppose I'd better answer them by the end of this post or else I would end up not moving. Thanks a lot, rhetorical questions! Once again, you are the dicks of the questions world.

So...here's why: I am a victim of and beneficiary of my workaholism, ambition, idealism, ego, and hedonism. If I were making an adjective star (w00t w00t say what THET 325/425, especially you mitch if you're reading this which of course you are because, come on, how could you not) those words would definitely have prominent spots on it. My workaholism and ambition push me to be constantly working (duh) and striving towards my ultimate goal. So if I am not either consistently auditioning, acting, or training to improve myself, then I feel like I'm wasting time and a voice kicks in in my head that tells me I suck. It's quite inconvenient, actually. So I COULD stay here in DC but I would be taking very very long-term steps towards achieving my ultimate goal on on-camera comedic acting. But I could very easily build myself a comfortable, happy life here as an actor here in DC. Isn't that stupid, though? That's where my idealism comes in. I COULD have a very safe, happy life here in DC and build long lasting friendships with my current friends who are going to stay here. Or, OR, I could take a risk and win big. I could take a huge chance, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and move to the place where dreams have come true and even more dreams have been dashed against the jagged edges of the Hollywood sign. And something about that prospect is just too enticing and alluring for my ego and my hedonism to handle. My ego tells me that I need fame and attention to thrive and my hedonism tells me that Hollywood after parties are AWESOME.

So that's that. (By the way, I've noticed that most of these serious paragraphs have started with "So". Don't worry, I'm conscious of it.) So, this horrible and horribly wonderful hodgepodge of characteristics inside of me will not allow me to simply stay stagnant and work my way up slowly. Long story short, I HAVE A MONSTER INSIDE ME WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF INSTANT-GRATIFICATION AND HE IS HUNGRY AND BECAUSE HE IS INSIDE ME THAT MAKES ME HUNGRY TOO AND...WELL...you see what I'm saying is...I'm gonna go make me a celebrity sandwich. I know there's a lot better actors out there than me, but they're satisfied with theatre. And that's good. Good for them because they are happy and good for me because they won't move away and steal my parts away. They say that (Woody Allen, actually, I just looked it up. And if he said, it must be good because that guy totally did his step-daughter so...he must be good? Just go with me on this.) What? Where was I? Oh yes, they say that "80% of success is showing up." That's what I'm doing by moving away. That's me showing up. I hope you're ready for me, success.
And, uh...I hope you like cuddling? Because I'm totally gonna do you like you're my step-daughter. Wait. No. No. I'm sorry I got confused. That's bad. Not like that at all.

BYE BLOG. Let's do this again sometime, k?