5-09-12

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to say a little something.

Life is gooood.

I just came to that conclusion.

Maybe it's my realization that things are nice and slow right now instead of 2 fast and 2 furious.

Maybe it's the sriracha I bought the other day and am putting on EVERYTHING.

Maybe it's because I just did a group job interview for an amazing new cafe the other day and am feeling really good
about it. It would be the best job ever. I want it. Ergo it will be mine.

Maybe it's because I'm more than likely about to go out to a gay club and get my drank on.

Maybe it's because Diablo III comes out next week.

Either way, I'm happy right now. Don't care why.

But honestly, it's probably the sriracha.

Wakka wakka wakka!

Ugh

Ugh I'm so tired of writing whiny entries. I feel like all I do is complain and spew out emotion.

I can't decide if it makes me more or less human to vent these emotions but I feel like a big whiny bag of crap who only blogs when he's depressed.

I also realize the irony that this post itself is a whiny blog post about whiny blog posts.

I just can't decide! I feel weird if I blog about my feelings and I feel weird if I don't.

I wish I had as much incentive to write stand-up material as I did to bitch about being insecure sometimes.

I feel like my posts have gotten really boring recently, too. There doesn't seem to be any incentive to entertain the reader. What say ye, reader? Are ye not entertained? If not by my skillful writing, then by my skillful truthiness?

Blarg, I say! Blarg!

Note to children: don't drink and blog.

Mediocrity

Panel 8 of this comic right here:

http://www.xkcd.com/1027/

...is my biggest fear.

And whenever I see my friends being talented it always pops up like an awful little friend.

Sometimes I worry I am not authentic.

Sometimes I worry that I am one of those people who is going to discover their "true calling" at age...like, 35.

There's no logical reason why I feel this way.

Well, I guess there is. It's mainly because I feel like I'm not as good or productive as some of my friends.

I've put them on a pedestal and for some reason can't get over it.

I don't know why I live my life so fast. Why I feel like I have to be working every second to make my life start.

I keep waiting for my life to finally start. I keep looking at this portion of my life as "chapters 5-10 of my autobiography that I write later on". Anyone else do this? Just me? Okay.

I don't know why I can't just be in the moment and enjoy where things are now.

I get worried that all the good ideas and funny things I hear in my head will never come out and will just remain trapped up there as "something to write down later". Or maybe all writers/comedians/actors feel this way at some point?

The problem is that I'm obsessed with taking "the right path" and I can't get it through my thick perfectionist skull that there is no "right path". Whatever path you choose to take is the right path for you.

It's difficult to relax when you know you should be working. And it's difficult to work when you want to relax so badly. Ugh it's such a Catch 22. Like the book.

Twist ending: I've been drinking!
Double twist: I'm not feeling bad right now! I'm never going to give up acting/comedizing in the world so I know it's going to happen for me someday. But I don't want to be a sell-out when it happens and I want it to happen sooner rather than later. And I want it to be BIG AND LOUD, not mediocre and soft. I don't want to be 45 years old and people are JUST starting to hear about me because I played a silly character in some movie starring a comedic actor half my age. Is that wrong? If I want that to happen I should probably start writing some of my comedy down. You know, maybe putting it into sketch or stand-up comedy form. I hear that's generally how comedians like to operate.

In all honesty, I don't know what I would do in life if it weren't acting or comedy, I'm just a little miffed right now because I'm not doing enough of either and it's making me antsy. All will be well.

Shout out to all my homies who got the Cats Don't Dance reference earlier. If you didn't, I'm sorry. You failed.

(Oh and today I sent out headshots/resumes to agencies (FINALLY) and auditioned for some Disney thing rather than work. Oh and interviewed for an AMAZING new cafe for a server position. Turns out the only thing they require is a bitching personality, which we all know I have, so I'm as good as in. Huzzah! Life is good but way bigger and way more gob-smacking than this Maryland boy was ready for. But now he is. So fuck you United States. You're next.)

5-06-12

Hey hey ya'll. Well I had a fun little weekend. I've had a lot of days off lately, and that's been awesome.

This weekend was a fun one. Starting with Friday I went to a callback for the fine folks at JG Wentworth (877-cash now!) for the role of Struggling Benchpresser. I just hope they don't think I'm too jacked for it.

Shut up.

It's a serious concern of mine.

But I met Jack Black and Russell Brand there, which was fun. Only later did I find out that they were not in fact Jack Black or Russell Brand, only mere impersonators. But they turned out to be cool chill broskis so we all exchanged information and friended each other on the facebooks. Networking networking networking, baby! I hate it because it forces me to be social with people I don't know. But I like it because it forces me to be social with people I don't know. I think Russell is going to get it. His benchpresser gym outfit was just too spot on. Plus he was super doofy looking, and I think that's what they wanted.

Then I went and recorded my first legit rap song. More on that later when we shoot the video for it...
But it was a major disappointment when I google'd the rap name I was going to go by (DJ Tanner (like from Full House)) and found out that there already is a well established dj in New York who already thought of this somewhat clever pun.
DAMN YOU DJ TANNER FROM FULL HOUSE FROM NEW YORK!
Sokay. I'll just have to think of a new one.

That night I went out to a bar in West Hollywood for the first time in a while for this girl Bri's bri-thday. Which was...well, pretty lackluster actually. Drank a PBR (I'm broke and can afford nothing else) and then just took silly pictures with my boys until we decided to leave. Went at Chic-Fil-A at one that was open til 3 AM. Whaaaat theeee fuuuuuuudge. It was a great late night treat.

Then Saturday I ate some breakfast at this cafe place that was called the Bungalow but we called The Bunghole. That was the most important part of Saturday. I worked as well, but twas quite boring!

Today I lazed and loafed and lounged the day away. It was great. Finished Summer Heights High. (Only eight episodes? Why hadn't I done this already?) And now I'm downloading a bunch of other shows now that I'll intend on finishing but probably never get around to. (Freaks and Geeks, Louie season 2, Spaced, and Life's Too Short) (Who am I kidding? Those shows are amazing (I hear), of course I'll finish them) (parentheses)

Exciting day tomorrow. Another audition, for a kid's tv interviewer guy, and a job interview for a serving position! And hopefully I'll finally send my headshots/resumes out to my friend's agencies as well.

Well I'm outties for the night.
Also I'll be taking suggestions for my new rap name. Preferably starting with the letter "DJ" or "MC" and preferably really stupid.

Night night my babies!

4/28 - 5/03

Okay, so that "update" that was supposed to happened yesterday didn't. And I know your mad, but come on baby, just let me put the tip in. It'll be alright again soon. Just let me soothe you with words. I can fix everything.

So, I had a pretty nice weekend/early week. And today was my day off, so if I can't find the time to update on my day off I never will.
First and foremost I want to address the last real post on here that was full of a crazy amount of emotion. I want to thank everybody who sent me their support or kind words. They really helped. And I feel much better now. Something somebody told me helped me come to a mini-epiphany. For some reason I was imagining myself all the way over here as some sort of prison. A man sent to the other side of the country, entirely isolated from his friends, told to start over from scratch, while he has to constantly read/hear about how much fun his friends are having. Sounds like hell to me. But that's not how it is. It's not a goodbye forever (although it may sometimes feel that way) it's more of a "goodbye for now, grandma's not really dead she's still here in spirit" kind of deal. We're all out doing our own things right now (except for you losers who are still in college) and our locations seem to be changing constantly. And the United States are NOT that big. So instead of moping about how far away from my friends I am, I'm going to try and make as many new ones out here as I can, talk to my old friends as much as I can online/skype/on the phone, and then the one's that really matter and who are truly important to me will make an effort to stick around in my life, just like I'll make an effort to stick around in theirs. Distance away does not equal emotional distance away. It usually is just way better if your friends can be near you 24/7. I don't know, it doesn't sound like a huge change in philosophy, but it's helped me come to terms with being out here a lot. Now all you fuckers who don't live in California need to move your asses out here before I have to stalk your asses down and talk your ear off/show you well thought out powerpoint presentations until you agree to do it. Don't make me do it. I know how to do the advanced slide transitions.

Well. Glad that's all wrapped up. Here's my weekend, coming at'cha!

Friday Night: Saw "What About Dick?" in downtown LA at this very nice, fancy-pants theatre called the Orpheum. Good show, stellar cast. Worth the money just for the cast alone. Who's in the cast, you ask? Well allow me to brag right quick. Russell Brand, Eric Idle, Tim Curry, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly, Tracy Ullman, and two other actory ladies. British comedy ROYALTY. It was amazing to see them all on stage together. There's a tiny blurry video on my facebook if you wanna see the final number.

Saturday: Worked from 7 AM to 2 pm. Got home, relaxed. Slept maybe? No, not nap, that's right. But I did go out to dinner with Ali (roommate shout-out!), her parents, and Amanda (regular non-roommate shout-out!). We went to this pizza place called...fuck, I have no idea what it's called anymore. It was pretty damn good too. Especially because Ali's parents paid which was NICE. Then I got home that night and started memorizing/writing a script for these two news stories for an audition the next day.

Sunday: More memorizing of the scripts that I wrote. Apparently a very funny script, but I just could NOT memorize it all by the time of the audition so I was totally nervous and freaked out in the waiting room the whole time. I didn't want to have to use my sides, but there came where I just went, "I don't have this memorized, I'm just going to use them. It would be stupid not to." So I did, naturally they auditors gave no shits, and I made the dude laugh a few times. So I hope I get call from those folks in a few weeks. I'd share more details about the gig but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, mine included, until something actually happens. Then I was going to go to the Channel 101 show that night, but instead went to the mybrainhumor house and hung out and smoked some. I was still pretty bummed from friday.

Monday - Wednesday: A whole lot of work, but a gradual increase in mood due to kind words via comments on here, facebook messages, and skype talks. Which I just realized only further proves that friends can work wonders even while thousands of miles away. Yay friends, I love friends! Also this week: a butt-ton of auditions! Which is to say 2 auditions! But for crazy cool commercials, so it was a big deal. One for JG Wentworth (877 cash now!) that would be fun to get (callback tomorrow bitches) and one for a karaoke video game commercial, which would also be awesome to get. And I got a call today from this commercial audition I did a couple weeks ago that I'm in the running for the part on that one too! So thing's are looking up. Oh, fun things I did last night: Got trashed and went out to a UCB show. Solid use of a Wednesday night, methinks.

And then today was my day off so I just slept in, dicked around, caught up on my GoT, and read a lot of stuff about Diablo III. DIABLO III. I'm so excited for this game. I realize I will probably be killing so much time playing it, time that should be spent advancing my career or making money or something but fuck it! I just want to slay demons from May 15th onwards and if you're my true friends you'll move to LA and do the same.

Welp that pretty much wraps my week up. Oh, yeah, I also bought curtains so the sun doesn't wake me up everyday at 7 AM, a laundry hamper, and a bunch of clothes hangers which are SO necessary. Oh shit! I almost forgot. To buy those things I had to go to IKEA where my dear roommate (roommate shout-out number 2!) introduced me to IKEA's amazing 15 ball Swedish meatball lunch for 3.99 baby. If you're a cool kid who LOVES eating yummy foods and LOVES saving money, do yourself a favor and go eat at an IKEA, you'll be glad you did. Do like Jayme does and put some balls in your mouth.

In conclusion, balls. But also, I was thinking of doing little contests on this blog where people who read and defeat questions/challenges I pose to you win fun prizes. Does this sounds like something you'd like to happen? I'm letting the people decide! Post a comment below if you like this and want to win everything. First and last person to comment get a special prize!

As usual, G'night everybody. Eat your vegetables. (ewwwwwww i ate asparagus and liked it does this mean I have to turn in my little kid card? ugggggggggh i hate liking green things)

NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE JAYME SOMETHING SOMETHING

Feelin' fine.

Guh, weekend/today/yesterday update coming soon. Like...tomorrow? I swears it.